latihan kejiwaan

There is a history of reluctance to write much about our experiences of the latihan kejiwaan (or spiritual training). Part of that is because our teacher, Muhammad Subuh Sumohadiwijojo, told us to avoid what he called "propaganda," because people hear so much anymore, they don't know what to believe. But it is also so very difficult to articulate in the first place.

This morning, I was in the shower, and at a certain point, found myself in a state of consciousness where I could feel a chant arising spontaneously from the depths of my being. I started singing "ana manaya say a o o, ana manaya say a o o," over and over again. Some of it was with the same melody of middle CCCCCCBbCD, but sometimes I felt to sing it with variations such as CCCCCEDCBb. It was very light and uplifting. I have absolutely no idea what it means, and while I am slightly curious, it mostly doesn't matter to me. My understanding of the way this spiritual training works is that we receive the gift that we need in the moment. It requires sincerity. It requires patience. It requires letting go, and letting life be--and I mean this in a deeper sense than the colloquial understanding of the expression 'let it be'.

I am going to try to be attentive to my spiritual training, and talk about it when and as I can.

This chant that I received is for me at that moment. I wouldn't forcefully and intentionally repeat it at a later time. If it would be right for me to chant this, and I believe I have before, it will come to me again. For God, or the Spirit of the Universe, is great, and knows what we need when we need it. This spiritual training is but the result of surrendering to that Spirit, and allowing it to guide us.

These are only so many words. "The Tao that can be spoken is not the true Tao." It's the experience that is real. The rest is a process of communicating in abstractions.